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Walnut-chan - Chapter 309: The Light Side of the Universe
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About This Title
"Then answer me. Who are you?"
Amamiya Rin lifted his head. His gaze swept across the boundless sea of stars, past the belt of Orion, past the spiral silver-blue halo of Andromeda, past distant Sirius, bright as a jewel.
His eyes moved slowly through the darkness, as if searching for a point to focus on. But the light was everywhere.
"Haven't you already guessed?"
The voice carried a faint trace of laughter, like wind passing over the edge of the Magellanic Clouds, bearing fine dust and light.
Amamiya Rin closed his eyes.
A ripple spread softly outward. It had no form and no outline, yet he felt it, an indescribable presence. It was as if the whole starry sky were slowly drawing in on itself, the light of countless billions of stars converging into a flowing warm current. It surged toward him from every direction, then stopped not far in front of him and condensed into something close to infinite vastness.
Orion lit up in his mind.
Those were her eyes, deep and bright, gazing at him tenderly across thousands of light-years.
Andromeda unfurled behind her.
That was her long hair, a radiant golden ribbon of light, carrying the glow of a hundred billion stars as it flowed through the dark.
Aldebaran trembled faintly when she smiled. That was the sweetest curve of her lips. Sirius was her slender neck, silver-white as frost, giving off a cool and gentle light across the cosmos.
The Magellanic Clouds rose and fell upon her chest. Two vast nebulae, drawn by her breathing, swelled and ebbed slowly, stirring with the faint glow of newborn stars.
The Virgo galaxies were her sacred womb, where billions of stars took shape and life was quietly born in the most primal light.
In that moment, Amamiya Rin's field of vision expanded without limit, then contracted without limit.
He saw the Virgo Cluster. He saw dark-red dust churning in the Perseus Molecular Cloud. He saw gravity wells collapsing deep within the Snake Nebula. He saw the gossamer-thin light at the edge of a black hole's event horizon, struggling in warped space.
All of it was the structure of Her body, a single form composed of billions of stars, nebulae, black holes, dark matter and folds of spacetime.
"I am the light of this universe."
The voice grew deeper than before, weighted with hundreds of millions of years, like an echo built from stardust piling up across endless time.
It had no gender, no age, none of the traits humans could use to define it. There was only a presence that was infinitely gentle and yet infinitely vast.
"As you suspected.
"This universe is made of light and darkness.
"If Azathoth, the blind and idiotic primordial chaos, is its dark side,
"then the existence that corresponds to Azathoth must be the light this universe itself has brought forth."
He had once made such a guess. Now it was finally confirmed.
Yet the moment he realized it, Amamiya Rin's breathing stopped.
In that instant his mind was forcibly crammed with too much information: scales, masses, distances and meanings that no human brain could possibly bear.
His thoughts swelled without limit. His self thinned out without limit. The boundary of that "I" blurred at terrifying speed, as though he were about to melt into this endless sea of stars.
The thoughts he had forged through centuries of practice, the cognitive framework built from White Bone Contemplation, Perfect Penetration of the Ear Faculty and mindfulness in motion, were nothing but paper dikes before the vastness of the cosmos. The flood of information was crushing them.
But within the shattered consciousness, a wisp of faint light flared up.
It was like a flickering candle in a dark room. Not dazzling, yet it wasn't snuffed out by the brilliance of the stars, nor swallowed by the depths of the black holes.
No matter how the world outside surged, it stood unmoved.
Amamiya Rin closed his eyes and breathed.
In a vacuum, he accomplished what should have been impossible.
Then, bit by bit, he gathered his scattered consciousness and set it back in place, solid again.
When he opened his eyes once more, his gaze was no longer unfocused. It was still as an ancient well, reflecting the heavens full of stars without being swallowed by a single one.
"Even light is this dangerous?"
"One must not look directly upon a god."
"All right. What I actually wanted to ask is, could you share your light with me? I need more power."
Amamiya Rin hesitated very little and made his request outright.
"The [Light] I've conceived needs three components. First, the light within my own heart. Second, an anchor of human belief: the combined weight of the light that everyone genuinely believes in from the bottom of their hearts. That part is slowly taking shape. Third, you, the light of this universe itself. With all three, a giant made of light would have power equal to a true Ultraman… or so I guessed."
The universe fell quiet for a moment. She seemed to be weighing how to answer.
"I'm sorry, Amamiya Rin. Even if you fused with my light, you still couldn't have power equal to a true Ultraman."
In this world where time had lost its meaning, it felt as if only a second had passed before she gave her answer.
"Was my concept wrong?"
"No."
The light denied his guess.
"Your concept isn't wrong. The three components, the light within your heart, the anchor of human belief and the light of the universe itself, can indeed create a being capable of confronting calamity. The problem is that there's a fundamental gap between how you understand fusion and what would actually happen."
"Please explain."
"The light of the heart, the light of hope, the light of the universe: in essence they are the same thing. They are the light of hope at different scales."
"I can roughly understand that."
Amamiya Rin nodded slightly. This universe ran on an idealist worldview. An individual's heart, the hopes of many, the light of the cosmos: all of them could be classed as light, the symbol of the positive.
"I am the bright side of this universe. I contain all goodwill, hope, love, courage and faith. The light of hope in people's hearts, and the light of your heart, are part of me too. When you grow stronger, I grow stronger. But my growing stronger doesn't mean the [Giant of Light] grows stronger."
The sea of stars turned slowly in Amamiya Rin's vision. The light of Orion, having crossed a thousand years of distance, reached his eyes, and the tenderness in that gaze had not faded.
"The [Giant of Light] is your power, a power with a specific designation. Your heart combined with the goodwill people direct toward the Giant of Light, and together they formed the light called the [Giant of Light]."
"But measured against the scale of the universe, that is still far too small. If you wanted to fuse with me, you would only be assimilated by my light. Your consciousness, your personality, your sense of self would all dissolve into the whole sea of stars. By then, the one standing here talking with me would no longer be you, but me. I think you just experienced that future."
He couldn't refute it.
Amamiya Rin didn't even want to recall it.
Light on the scale of the universe held information far too immense. Even communicating with it, even just sensing it, would cause his consciousness to be assimilated.
"Then answer me. Who are you?"
Amamiya Rin lifted his head. His gaze swept across the boundless sea of stars, past the belt of Orion, past the spiral silver-blue halo of Andromeda, past distant Sirius, bright as a jewel.
His eyes moved slowly through the darkness, as if searching for a point to focus on. But the light was everywhere.
"Haven't you already guessed?"
The voice carried a faint trace of laughter, like wind passing over the edge of the Magellanic Clouds, bearing fine dust and light.
Amamiya Rin closed his eyes.
A ripple spread softly outward. It had no form and no outline, yet he felt it, an indescribable presence. It was as if the whole starry sky were slowly drawing in on itself, the light of countless billions of stars converging into a flowing warm current. It surged toward him from every direction, then stopped not far in front of him and condensed into something close to infinite vastness.
Orion lit up in his mind.
Those were her eyes, deep and bright, gazing at him tenderly across thousands of light-years.
Andromeda unfurled behind her.
That was her long hair, a radiant golden ribbon of light, carrying the glow of a hundred billion stars as it flowed through the dark.
Aldebaran trembled faintly when she smiled. That was the sweetest curve of her lips. Sirius was her slender neck, silver-white as frost, giving off a cool and gentle light across the cosmos.
The Magellanic Clouds rose and fell upon her chest. Two vast nebulae, drawn by her breathing, swelled and ebbed slowly, stirring with the faint glow of newborn stars.
The Virgo galaxies were her sacred womb, where billions of stars took shape and life was quietly born in the most primal light.
In that moment, Amamiya Rin's field of vision expanded without limit, then contracted without limit.
He saw the Virgo Cluster. He saw dark-red dust churning in the Perseus Molecular Cloud. He saw gravity wells collapsing deep within the Snake Nebula. He saw the gossamer-thin light at the edge of a black hole's event horizon, struggling in warped space.
All of it was the structure of Her body, a single form composed of billions of stars, nebulae, black holes, dark matter and folds of spacetime.
"I am the light of this universe."
The voice grew deeper than before, weighted with hundreds of millions of years, like an echo built from stardust piling up across endless time.
It had no gender, no age, none of the traits humans could use to define it. There was only a presence that was infinitely gentle and yet infinitely vast.
"As you suspected.
"This universe is made of light and darkness.
"If Azathoth, the blind and idiotic primordial chaos, is its dark side,
"then the existence that corresponds to Azathoth must be the light this universe itself has brought forth."
He had once made such a guess. Now it was finally confirmed.
Yet the moment he realized it, Amamiya Rin's breathing stopped.
In that instant his mind was forcibly crammed with too much information: scales, masses, distances and meanings that no human brain could possibly bear.
His thoughts swelled without limit. His self thinned out without limit. The boundary of that "I" blurred at terrifying speed, as though he were about to melt into this endless sea of stars.
The thoughts he had forged through centuries of practice, the cognitive framework built from White Bone Contemplation, Perfect Penetration of the Ear Faculty and mindfulness in motion, were nothing but paper dikes before the vastness of the cosmos. The flood of information was crushing them.
But within the shattered consciousness, a wisp of faint light flared up.
It was like a flickering candle in a dark room. Not dazzling, yet it wasn't snuffed out by the brilliance of the stars, nor swallowed by the depths of the black holes.
No matter how the world outside surged, it stood unmoved.
Amamiya Rin closed his eyes and breathed.
In a vacuum, he accomplished what should have been impossible.
Then, bit by bit, he gathered his scattered consciousness and set it back in place, solid again.
When he opened his eyes once more, his gaze was no longer unfocused. It was still as an ancient well, reflecting the heavens full of stars without being swallowed by a single one.
"Even light is this dangerous?"
"One must not look directly upon a god."
"All right. What I actually wanted to ask is, could you share your light with me? I need more power."
Amamiya Rin hesitated very little and made his request outright.
"The [Light] I've conceived needs three components. First, the light within my own heart. Second, an anchor of human belief: the combined weight of the light that everyone genuinely believes in from the bottom of their hearts. That part is slowly taking shape. Third, you, the light of this universe itself. With all three, a giant made of light would have power equal to a true Ultraman… or so I guessed."
The universe fell quiet for a moment. She seemed to be weighing how to answer.
"I'm sorry, Amamiya Rin. Even if you fused with my light, you still couldn't have power equal to a true Ultraman."
In this world where time had lost its meaning, it felt as if only a second had passed before she gave her answer.
"Was my concept wrong?"
"No."
The light denied his guess.
"Your concept isn't wrong. The three components, the light within your heart, the anchor of human belief and the light of the universe itself, can indeed create a being capable of confronting calamity. The problem is that there's a fundamental gap between how you understand fusion and what would actually happen."
"Please explain."
"The light of the heart, the light of hope, the light of the universe: in essence they are the same thing. They are the light of hope at different scales."
"I can roughly understand that."
Amamiya Rin nodded slightly. This universe ran on an idealist worldview. An individual's heart, the hopes of many, the light of the cosmos: all of them could be classed as light, the symbol of the positive.
"I am the bright side of this universe. I contain all goodwill, hope, love, courage and faith. The light of hope in people's hearts, and the light of your heart, are part of me too. When you grow stronger, I grow stronger. But my growing stronger doesn't mean the [Giant of Light] grows stronger."
The sea of stars turned slowly in Amamiya Rin's vision. The light of Orion, having crossed a thousand years of distance, reached his eyes, and the tenderness in that gaze had not faded.
"The [Giant of Light] is your power, a power with a specific designation. Your heart combined with the goodwill people direct toward the Giant of Light, and together they formed the light called the [Giant of Light]."
"But measured against the scale of the universe, that is still far too small. If you wanted to fuse with me, you would only be assimilated by my light. Your consciousness, your personality, your sense of self would all dissolve into the whole sea of stars. By then, the one standing here talking with me would no longer be you, but me. I think you just experienced that future."
He couldn't refute it.
Amamiya Rin didn't even want to recall it.
Light on the scale of the universe held information far too immense. Even communicating with it, even just sensing it, would cause his consciousness to be assimilated.
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