The Gay Gh0stwriter - Thirst Trap Season 2 - Chapter 5

All characters engaged in sexual activity are 18 or older.

Quinn

Jude's face froze on the screen.

For a second I thought the connection had dropped. He froze. But then I saw his eyes. They were locked on the camera, wide and wet and blinking, and I realized he wasn't frozen. He was just... stopped. Like I'd hit pause on him.

"What?" His voice cracked.

"Move in with me. Come to Seattle. I have the guest room. You can stay as long as you need."

He blinked. Once. Twice. I watched him try to process it. His face was still a mess. Red eyes, tear tracks down his cheeks, that look you only get from really losing it. He looked exhausted. Beaten down. Like someone who'd been knocked down so many times he'd stopped expecting anyone to help him up.

I wanted to reach through the screen and hold him. I wanted to be there, in that shitty apartment, so I could wrap my arms around him and tell him it was going to be okay. I wanted to do what I'd done in Seattle. Just hold him, be the solid thing he could lean against.

But I was two thousand miles away. So words would have to do.

"You'd do that for me?" His voice was barely above a whisper. "You'd actually... you'd let me live with you?"

"Yes."

"But..." He shook his head. "We only hung out for three days. You don't even really know me."

"I know you."

"You know Lunarlad. You know the TikTok version. You don't know..."

"I know you hate your job," I cut him off. "I know Brenda calls you Jules and you never correct her because you've given up. I know your mom forgot your birthday. I know you pretend everything's fine when it's not, and you make jokes when you're scared. You think you have to perform all the time because you're afraid nobody will like who you actually are."

Jude was staring at me. The tears had stopped, but his eyes were still glassy.

"I know you like blue Gatorade and Takis and string cheese," I kept going. "I know you used to have a stuffed giraffe named Gerald. I know you'd never seen the ocean before you came here, and when you finally saw it from the ferry, you got so quiet I thought you might cry."

"Quinn..."

"I know you, Jude. The real you. And I want you here. Not for content. Not for... whatever you're thinking. I just want you here."

He was quiet for a long moment. I could see his throat working, like he was trying to swallow around a lump that wouldn't go down. His eyes dropped from the camera. Looking at his lap, or his hands, anywhere but at me.

"I won't be able to help with bills... Not until I find a job. I don't have anything saved up. I'm basically showing up broke and..."

"I don't care."

"But I do." His voice cracked again. "I can't just... I can't be a freeloader. I'll cook. I'll clean. I'll do grocery runs, I'll do whatever you need. I'll..." He laughed, but it sounded forced. "You can get me a maid outfit if you want. Or..."

"Jude. Stop."

He stopped.

I recognized what he was doing. Offering himself up. His labor, his body, whatever he thought I wanted. Because that was how it worked in his world. People did things for him and expected payment. His mom expected him to buy groceries and stay out of her way. His followers expected thirst traps. The guys in his DMs expected... more than that. He'd learned to calculate his worth in what he could give people, and now he was trying to figure out what I wanted in exchange.

It made me want to find everyone who'd ever made him feel that way and hurt them.

"I'm not offering this because I want to fuck you."

The words hung there. Direct. Blunt. Maybe too blunt, but I needed him to hear it. Needed him to understand that this wasn't a transaction. That I wasn't another person trying to get access to his body in exchange for help.

Jude's expression shifted. Surprise, maybe. Confusion. He looked away from the camera, then back.

"I know," he said quietly. "I know it's not... I know you're not like that. But if it would make you happy, I could..."

"No."

"Quinn..."

"Listen to me." I leaned closer to the phone, like that would somehow bring me closer to him. "I'm not going to sit here and pretend I'm not attracted to you. You know I am. I told you I wanted to see you naked like fifteen minutes ago. But that's not why I want you here."

He was watching me now. That guardedness he usually wore was gone, stripped away by exhaustion and tears and whatever was happening between us tonight.

"Then why? Why do you want me there?"

I thought about all the nights we'd spent texting. The way he made me laugh. The way he asked about my day like he actually cared. The way he'd cried in my arms, trusting me with the parts of himself he didn't show anyone else.

I thought about the month I'd spent waiting for his messages, arranging my whole life around the sound of my phone buzzing. The way I felt when I saw his name on my screen. The way I felt right now, looking at his face, knowing he was scared and alone and two thousand miles away.

My throat was tight. I wasn't used to this... saying things out loud, being honest about what I felt. I'd spent my whole life keeping everything locked down, analyzing my own emotions from a safe distance, never letting anyone see how much I wanted. But Jude was on my screen with tears on his face, asking me why, and I couldn't hide anymore.

"Because you make me less lonely." The words came out rough. Honest in a way I wasn't used to being.

"Before you, I came home every night to an empty apartment. I had coworkers, but no friends. I had a nice apartment with a nice view but no one to share any of it with. I was so lonely I couldn't breathe sometimes, and I didn't even realize it until you."

Jude's eyes were wet again. He didn't say anything. Just watched me, listening.

"You text me every morning. Every night. You ask about my day and you actually listen to the answer. You make fun of Glenn with me and you try to get me to talk about my holiday plans even though you know it will piss me off." I stopped. Swallowed. My voice was shaking, and I hated it, but I couldn't stop now. "You make me feel like I'm not just going through the motions. Like my life actually has someone in it. Like I matter to someone."

"You do." Jude's voice was small. "You matter to me."

My chest ached. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. You're..." He wiped his face with the back of his hand. "You're the best part of my day, Quinn. Every day. That wasn't a lie. I meant it."

I remembered the screenshot I'd saved. its like the best part of my day most days. I'd stared at it for hours, trying to convince myself it meant what I wanted it to mean.

Apparently it did.

"I like talking to you. I like the way you think. I like your stupid jokes and your weird stories about customers and the way you send me smiley faces at 2 AM. I like you, Jude. Not Lunarlad. Not your body. You. And I don't want you to be homeless or doing OnlyFans or any of the other shit you think you have to do to survive. I want you to come here and figure out the rest later. With me."

The silence stretched between us. I could hear my own heartbeat, too loud in my ears. I'd said too much. Been too honest. Shown him exactly how much I needed him, how far gone I actually was.

But I couldn't take it back. And I didn't want to.

Jude wiped his face again. When he looked at the camera, the walls were down. No performance. No mask. Just Jude.

"Okay..."

"Okay?"

"Yeah." He nodded slowly, like he was convincing himself. "Okay. I'll do it. I'll come to Seattle."

The relief hit me so hard I almost laughed. Almost cried. I settled for smiling. This huge, stupid smile that I couldn't have stopped if I tried.

And Jude smiled back.

It was small. Tentative. Still a little wobbly around the edges, like he wasn't sure he was allowed to be happy yet. But it was real. Not Lunarlad. Just Jude, smiling at me through a phone screen, two thousand miles away.

"Okay... good. Awesome. We'll figure out the logistics tomorrow. Flights and whatever. Just... get some sleep. We'll figure it out. Okay"

"Yeah." He nodded. "Okay."

Neither of us hung up. We just sat there for a moment, looking at each other, smiling like idiots who'd just figured out they were on the same page.