PinkSnake - Konosuba Comedy - 303
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Chapter 303: The Joys of Life in Axel
As the three figures radiating an aura of impending destruction disappeared through the Adventurers Guild doors, the hall, which had been noisy enough to raise the roof just moments earlier, fell into an eerie, funeral-like silence within seconds.
The Adventurers around them wiped the cold sweat from their brows and returned to their seats, still shaken.
Behind the counter, Luna-san looked utterly drained. She slumped over the counter and let out a long sigh.
“Phew... They’re finally gone. Kōichi-san, I really appreciate you covering their bill, but next time, please don’t let Aqua-san perform Nature's Beauty inside the Adventurers Guild. Cleaning the floor afterward is a real pain.”
Kōichi said nothing. He simply raised his glass and gave Luna a sympathetic look.
He knew perfectly well that this peace was nothing more than a brief lull before the storm.
Just as he was enjoying this rare moment of quiet, a set of light footsteps approached from behind.
“Hey, Kōichi-san! Why are you sitting here drinking all by yourself? Where did those two important ladies go?”
Chris had somehow slipped back into the guild. She had already changed out of her conspicuous Thief outfit and into a light set of casual clothes. Under the guild’s soft lighting, even the scar on her face looked strangely playful.
She casually dropped into the seat across from Kōichi, grabbed the last piece of fried chicken on the table, and popped it into her mouth.
“I already handed the Holy Armor over to... ahem, someone reliable. Aqua-senpai purified that guy so badly that I doubt he’ll have the strength to come out and harass women again for at least a year or so.”
Kōichi pointed toward the entrance, his tone as casual as if he were discussing the weather.
“They went off with Dust to strike it rich. If my instincts are right, in about an hour and a half, we’ll either hear an explosion from the direction of the city walls or see the three of them come running back with a pack of monsters right behind them.”
Chris froze for a moment, then gave him a smile that looked more like a grimace.
“Dust... Aqua-senpai... and that fanatic from the Axis Order? Kōichi-san, you seriously didn’t stop them? Forget getting rich. Are Axel’s city walls even going to survive today?”
“There was no stopping them.”
Kōichi sighed and gazed thoughtfully out the window.
“For Aqua, the temptation of gold coins is second only to sparkling wine. For Dust, the temptation to court disaster is second only to the Succubus Shop. Put those two together, and not even the gods could stop the reaction.”
He paused, then turned toward Chris with a faint, knowing smile.
“So, before disaster strikes, how about we have a good meal first? Cleaning up the mess afterward is going to take a lot of energy.”
Chris looked at Kōichi’s sadistically confident expression, as though everything was proceeding exactly as he expected, and instinctively shrank back a little. Still, almost against her better judgment, she held out her hand.
“W-Well, all right. If Kōichi-san says so, I’ll join you for a feast! I’m definitely not the one paying in the end anyway, right?”
At a private table on the second floor of the Adventurers Guild, the entire surface was covered with steaming marbled red beef, golden and crispy fried lobster cutlets, and a bottle of exceptionally fine vintage sparkling wine.
Kōichi elegantly cut into a tender rib, while Chris sat across from him completely absorbed in battling a massive crab leg. Sauce was smeared all over her face. She showed none of the dignity one might expect from a Goddess and looked more like a little thief who had spent all day running wild outside before finally coming home to mooch a meal.
“Phew... Ha! Kōichi-san really is generous!”
Chris wiped her mouth without the slightest concern for appearances, picked up her juice, and took a huge gulp before letting out a satisfied sigh.
“Compared to living on cheap black bread and cabbage every day, this is practically Heaven! I always feel a little guilty eating this well, especially when I think about the Eris Sect’s doctrine of frugality, but if Kōichi-san is treating me, then I’m sure it’s fine!”
Kōichi set down his knife and fork, then pointed toward the still-empty entrance downstairs with an amused smile.
“Chris, while those three troublemakers still haven’t come back, how about a bet? We could wager the cost of this meal... though I’ve already paid for it. In that case, how about the loser has to be the test subject for Wiz’s next new product?”
Chris shuddered. She was clearly still traumatized by memories of Wiz’s exploding potions and blood-sucking slippers, but her competitive streak quickly won out, and she puffed out her chest.
“You’re on! What are we betting on, Kōichi-san?”
“On how they’ll try to shift the blame when they come crawling back covered in dirt.”
Kōichi held up three fingers.
“I bet Aqua will immediately grab onto my leg and start crying that everything went wrong because Kōichi didn’t come with them, so her luck couldn’t properly take effect. Then she’ll dump the entire blame on me.”
“Pfft! That really does sound like Aqua-senpai.”
Chris burst out laughing. She tilted her head and thought for a moment.
“Then I’ll bet on Dust! He’ll slam the table with an angry look and yell, ‘My plan was perfect! Those two crazy women ruined everything at the critical moment!’ Then he’ll try to weasel his way out of paying the Adventurers Guild any compensation.”
“What about Cecily?”
Kōichi raised an eyebrow.
“Cecily...”
Chris gave him a helpless look.
“She’ll probably put on a solemn expression and announce that this was a trial bestowed upon us by Aqua-sama, and that our failure only proves our faith isn’t pure enough. Then she’ll carry on as if nothing happened and start handing out Axis Order application forms to random passersby again.”
Kōichi chuckled and gently swirled the wine in his glass.
“Good prediction. But I have one more. I bet the three of them won’t just pass the blame. In the end, they’ll all demand that I treat them to another consolation meal to soothe their wounded hearts.”
“Huh?! That’s shameless even for them!”
Chris cried out dramatically, only to lower her voice a moment later.
“Though... if it’s those three, I can actually see them doing exactly that.”
The two continued chatting pleasantly, enjoying the relaxed mood of spectators waiting for a show, when a dull explosion faintly rumbled from the direction of the distant city walls.
A flock of startled birds immediately rose above the forest.
Kōichi glanced at the clock on the wall and spoke calmly.
“Forty-five minutes. Faster than I expected. Looks like the quest Dust picked this time is a lot harder than he thought.”
Chris set down the crab leg in her hand, her expression turning uneasy.
“Kōichi-san, should we pay the bill and sneak out now? I have a feeling that if they come back and catch us eating a feast up here, Aqua-senpai’s screams might actually bring down the guild roof.”
Kōichi smiled faintly, utterly calm despite the faintly sadistic gleam in his eyes.
“No. We’ll wait right here. Watching them go from full of hope, to complete despair, and finally to shamelessly begging for help. Isn’t that one of the joys of living in Axel?”
Chapter 303: The Joys of Life in Axel
As the three figures radiating an aura of impending destruction disappeared through the Adventurers Guild doors, the hall, which had been noisy enough to raise the roof just moments earlier, fell into an eerie, funeral-like silence within seconds.
The Adventurers around them wiped the cold sweat from their brows and returned to their seats, still shaken.
Behind the counter, Luna-san looked utterly drained. She slumped over the counter and let out a long sigh.
“Phew... They’re finally gone. Kōichi-san, I really appreciate you covering their bill, but next time, please don’t let Aqua-san perform Nature's Beauty inside the Adventurers Guild. Cleaning the floor afterward is a real pain.”
Kōichi said nothing. He simply raised his glass and gave Luna a sympathetic look.
He knew perfectly well that this peace was nothing more than a brief lull before the storm.
Just as he was enjoying this rare moment of quiet, a set of light footsteps approached from behind.
“Hey, Kōichi-san! Why are you sitting here drinking all by yourself? Where did those two important ladies go?”
Chris had somehow slipped back into the guild. She had already changed out of her conspicuous Thief outfit and into a light set of casual clothes. Under the guild’s soft lighting, even the scar on her face looked strangely playful.
She casually dropped into the seat across from Kōichi, grabbed the last piece of fried chicken on the table, and popped it into her mouth.
“I already handed the Holy Armor over to... ahem, someone reliable. Aqua-senpai purified that guy so badly that I doubt he’ll have the strength to come out and harass women again for at least a year or so.”
Kōichi pointed toward the entrance, his tone as casual as if he were discussing the weather.
“They went off with Dust to strike it rich. If my instincts are right, in about an hour and a half, we’ll either hear an explosion from the direction of the city walls or see the three of them come running back with a pack of monsters right behind them.”
Chris froze for a moment, then gave him a smile that looked more like a grimace.
“Dust... Aqua-senpai... and that fanatic from the Axis Order? Kōichi-san, you seriously didn’t stop them? Forget getting rich. Are Axel’s city walls even going to survive today?”
“There was no stopping them.”
Kōichi sighed and gazed thoughtfully out the window.
“For Aqua, the temptation of gold coins is second only to sparkling wine. For Dust, the temptation to court disaster is second only to the Succubus Shop. Put those two together, and not even the gods could stop the reaction.”
He paused, then turned toward Chris with a faint, knowing smile.
“So, before disaster strikes, how about we have a good meal first? Cleaning up the mess afterward is going to take a lot of energy.”
Chris looked at Kōichi’s sadistically confident expression, as though everything was proceeding exactly as he expected, and instinctively shrank back a little. Still, almost against her better judgment, she held out her hand.
“W-Well, all right. If Kōichi-san says so, I’ll join you for a feast! I’m definitely not the one paying in the end anyway, right?”
At a private table on the second floor of the Adventurers Guild, the entire surface was covered with steaming marbled red beef, golden and crispy fried lobster cutlets, and a bottle of exceptionally fine vintage sparkling wine.
Kōichi elegantly cut into a tender rib, while Chris sat across from him completely absorbed in battling a massive crab leg. Sauce was smeared all over her face. She showed none of the dignity one might expect from a Goddess and looked more like a little thief who had spent all day running wild outside before finally coming home to mooch a meal.
“Phew... Ha! Kōichi-san really is generous!”
Chris wiped her mouth without the slightest concern for appearances, picked up her juice, and took a huge gulp before letting out a satisfied sigh.
“Compared to living on cheap black bread and cabbage every day, this is practically Heaven! I always feel a little guilty eating this well, especially when I think about the Eris Sect’s doctrine of frugality, but if Kōichi-san is treating me, then I’m sure it’s fine!”
Kōichi set down his knife and fork, then pointed toward the still-empty entrance downstairs with an amused smile.
“Chris, while those three troublemakers still haven’t come back, how about a bet? We could wager the cost of this meal... though I’ve already paid for it. In that case, how about the loser has to be the test subject for Wiz’s next new product?”
Chris shuddered. She was clearly still traumatized by memories of Wiz’s exploding potions and blood-sucking slippers, but her competitive streak quickly won out, and she puffed out her chest.
“You’re on! What are we betting on, Kōichi-san?”
“On how they’ll try to shift the blame when they come crawling back covered in dirt.”
Kōichi held up three fingers.
“I bet Aqua will immediately grab onto my leg and start crying that everything went wrong because Kōichi didn’t come with them, so her luck couldn’t properly take effect. Then she’ll dump the entire blame on me.”
“Pfft! That really does sound like Aqua-senpai.”
Chris burst out laughing. She tilted her head and thought for a moment.
“Then I’ll bet on Dust! He’ll slam the table with an angry look and yell, ‘My plan was perfect! Those two crazy women ruined everything at the critical moment!’ Then he’ll try to weasel his way out of paying the Adventurers Guild any compensation.”
“What about Cecily?”
Kōichi raised an eyebrow.
“Cecily...”
Chris gave him a helpless look.
“She’ll probably put on a solemn expression and announce that this was a trial bestowed upon us by Aqua-sama, and that our failure only proves our faith isn’t pure enough. Then she’ll carry on as if nothing happened and start handing out Axis Order application forms to random passersby again.”
Kōichi chuckled and gently swirled the wine in his glass.
“Good prediction. But I have one more. I bet the three of them won’t just pass the blame. In the end, they’ll all demand that I treat them to another consolation meal to soothe their wounded hearts.”
“Huh?! That’s shameless even for them!”
Chris cried out dramatically, only to lower her voice a moment later.
“Though... if it’s those three, I can actually see them doing exactly that.”
The two continued chatting pleasantly, enjoying the relaxed mood of spectators waiting for a show, when a dull explosion faintly rumbled from the direction of the distant city walls.
A flock of startled birds immediately rose above the forest.
Kōichi glanced at the clock on the wall and spoke calmly.
“Forty-five minutes. Faster than I expected. Looks like the quest Dust picked this time is a lot harder than he thought.”
Chris set down the crab leg in her hand, her expression turning uneasy.
“Kōichi-san, should we pay the bill and sneak out now? I have a feeling that if they come back and catch us eating a feast up here, Aqua-senpai’s screams might actually bring down the guild roof.”
Kōichi smiled faintly, utterly calm despite the faintly sadistic gleam in his eyes.
“No. We’ll wait right here. Watching them go from full of hope, to complete despair, and finally to shamelessly begging for help. Isn’t that one of the joys of living in Axel?”
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